Poof's Letter

Hello my previous owners,

I hope you guys are doing well and have not forgotten about me. I remember you guys all the time and think about you -- why?  Well, besides the fact that I miss you guys, my current owners also totally do not spoil me like you all did!  It's a big change.  So I'm writing this to tell you that I am actually doing pretty well over here, despite my pretty dramatic weight gain.

According to my last doctor's checkup (they gave me a rabies shot - in case I will bite someone someday), I gained 2 whole pounds.  I don't have to tell you that that's a lot for a doggy whose head is not bigger than an orange.  Now I weigh...  (are you sitting down for this part?)  ...   I weigh 20 pounds.  Twenty!  That's 10% more than I should.

My new owners have been whispering quite awhile that I look a bit chubby, and that I'm kind of shaped like a sausage anyway -- and they think I don't understand their whispering, and their concerned looks and the checking my fat around my ribs, but I do, I understand everything.

I just thought they were not used to having a dog at home.  My theory is:  the weight gain is probably because of my cuteness. My current owners cannot possibly refuse my desperate puppy eyes, my begging face.  When I bring out those weapons of mass distraction, they will always share lots of doggy snacks with me.  I even made them felt guilty every time they are about to leave to work:  I put my cuteness, my sad eyes and my weepy crying face, I make some whiny whiny noises, and they always throw me some duck jerky or bacon or some crunchy bones or snacks.  They are soooo easy to fool and to manipulate.

As a result I am in big trouble with my weight though. 

So as the bad news from the doctor came, my owners decided to reduce my meals AGAIN.  If you remember, at the beginning it was 3/4 cup twice a day...  but after we started running around the neighbourhood in the summer they gave me 1 cup, then it was back 3/4 cup for the winter, and now?  Now it's down to HALF A CUP for breakfast and dinner.  Plus, I don't even like the new diet food they bought for me.  I can't read the letters on the bag, but it either says "light" or "low calories" or something like that.  Not cool guys.

Every time they eat, I've been begging them for more food and they noticed that 1/2 cup is not quite enough for me.  Starting last week, they began to give me new snacks which are healthier for me.  My new step-mom cuts a few different types of vegetables such as cucumbers and steamed carrots.  I know you can't believe I like cucumbers but it's true, I quite enjoy them, they smell amazing and they make me full.  And steamed carrots are soft and delicious.

I heard I will soon be getting some new veggies called "celery" and "steamed sweet potatoes" this weekend, so my snack bowls will be more colorful. Hopefully this spring I can show off my new aerodynamic body to Ringo (my new friend - he is a dachshund also and lives a couple of houses next door).

Regarding the weather, I am not too fond of it at all.  Peeing and pooing have to be done *fast* as in a matter of seconds before my butt freezes to the snow.  The owners try to make me wear silly shoes and clothes all the time, and honestly I just prefer going "natural" if you know what I mean.  The last few days we have had a big ice storm, and the pile of snow in the yard is now way too high for me to climb, because my legs are only 3 inches tall.  So I had to poo and pee on the driveway.  My new step-dad is not too happy about that part, he had to clean a bunch of frozen poopoo before he could drive his car out.

Hopefully I will grow a bit taller and walk to the top of the snow and pee over there, maybe write my name in the yard.  My shortness also causes me big trouble when I walk and run after raining or melting snow -- all my chest and belly is covered with mud and ends up too wet and too dirty to wipe off, so the humans have to bathe me in their laundry sink.  It's soapy and warm, but it involves water which is not my favourite thing either.

But I attached some new pictures of me and I hope you don't judge me now -- I promise my cute hot body will come back this spring time. 

Four paws and one wagging tail for you guys,

XOX

Mr. Puffy Mai Wijaya

(a.k.a. "Woof Woof", "Poofball", "Dogbreath", "Dogface", "Poofson", "Sausage", "Black Thing", "Bacon", "Porkchop", "Furball" and many other creative and almost a little bit offensive nicknames my new owners call me...)

P.S.  One of my favourite hobbies is itching myself and licking myself in front of everyone on the living room carpet.  It's awesome!  I'm doing it right NOW.

This is another favorite thing to do: laying near the heater at night.

I am too heavy to move to my bed.